Today I want to talk about the internal clock… What the hell do I mean by this? I’ll explain…
Look when I’m out there are lots of things to trigger me. I’ve found that many of them can be linked to this internal clock. You see, my internal clock has an internal alarm. When this alarm goes off… so does the Trigger, so does whatever I’m doing at the time seems to be the “trigger.” It was easy to get confused and feel that the trigger was the goings on around me.
Let me go into more detail so you understand what I am talking about. I feel those who experience this already know what the hell I mean. LOL
Lets start with this example, it’s common and it’s fairly easy to explain. Many times when I go out somewhere, big crowd or not, I seem to be good up to a certain point. That’s the point at which I refer to as my “timer going off.” At that point I am done! I need to go, I want to go, I have been there “too long.” What do I mean by too long? I have no clue but I’m pretty sure it revolves around the fact that in combat you can’t just sit in one spot too long. At that point you’re inviting an attack. I’m not a big believer in inviting attacks because we lose our advantage of surprise and we then are not fighting the fight on OUR terms.
This timer going off is very easy to attribute to what’s going on around me rather than just the fact that due to combat I’ve conditioned my brain to not be stationary too long. The only real place the timer does not go off is home (a.k.a. our base). I’ve also noticed that since my family and I have moved onto on base housing it’s even better. I attribute this to the fact that I know the base is secure. There are dudes at the gate securing it from unauthorized entry. They are on watch so I can sleep at night.
I felt it was important to talk about this trigger because of the inter-twining into other triggers. Crowds for example can trigger me, but not always. If my timer goes off while I am in the crowd, it can feel like the crowd is the trigger. Crowds themselves are their own trigger and I have found that it depends on the crowd. How much space between me and all these other folks? How far can I see? What’s the attitude of the crowd as a whole? I will discuss crowds in a later Trigger post, but I hope you can see this one and understand that you’re not alone. Please feel free to share and/or comment.