#TriggerTuesday Life Happens
No, seriously. Life happens. When life happens it’s easy to take it personal. We are our own worst critics. At a time when life happens, no matter what event it is, we (us PTSD folk) take it personal. At this moment the whole world is against us. What the fuck? I’ve been working hard to “do it right” and BAM I get knocked right on my ass again. Seriously, it’s like God is taking an interest in specifically saying FUCK YOU DAVE!
Having a need for control, we could also probably agree on the fact that we like to “fix” shit. At very moment we analyze the situation for what the fuck we did wrong to deserve this shit and we try to avoid that again. In doing so some other life happens and BAM we’re back at step negative 23. So we analyze that situation for what we fucked up and try not to do that again. Notice it’s this infinite loop of spiraling down deeper into the pit of “I’m doing all I can someone has it out for me!” We don’t even have to feel that that “someone” is a real person. Whoever “someone” is hates the fuck out of me and at times it seems pointless to even try.
Never give up!
My dad told me once when I was having a pretty bad time, that he knows many people who have a bad day but he’s never seen anyone get knocked on his ass so hard and so often and “still have the guts to get back up.” I remember replying “Dad, if I stay down that is THAT much harder I have to work just to get back to where I was when I got knocked down.” The world keeps turning, I said, it’s all I can do from letting it get away from me. My father nodded in agreement, and we continued sipping our jack daniels and watching war movies.
I never really thought much of it till later in life. Those times when I get slammed by life and it feels like I just lost everything I worked so hard to accomplish and I’m not back at square one, I am back at square negative. It’s these times when we have to keep trying. Pick ourselves up by the boot straps and “charlie mike!” The more we let the PTSD try to dictate how we react, when life is so much easier just to say “FUCK IT!” It’s these times that you punch that PTSD shit in the fucking throat and keep on marching.
You’re not the only one, and it’s not personal.
As easy as it is to fall into belief that life is against us and it’s personal, it isn’t. Look life happens to every mother fucker out there. Young, old, veteran, civilian, black, white, purple, green, big, little. EVERYONE! So I haven’t mastered not taking it personal. If I do, I will be sure to let you know. In the mean time realize it’s not YOU, it’s not PERSONAL, and don’t let it win. That’s the PTSD talking, NOT reality. When in doubt, try to breathe and zoom out to big-world view.
Finally, another tip from my dad “they can do alot of shit, but they can’t stop the clock.” So what the fuck does that mean? It means that this life event that’s putting a wrench in your wheel is temporary. Added up over a lifetime, yeah some have more than their fair share, but it’s temporary. Don’t lose the war over one bad mission.